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Quality Time with the Family
DIALOGUE LIST
[opening titles]
Quality Time with the Family
[dialogue]
MOM
Graham's getting your plate. Right there. Okay, here's Mom's here.
GRAHAM
Won't it be in the outside fridge?
MOM
And, Owen, you can pass me the extra knife and fork.
OWEN
Trevor
TREVOR
Ya?
OWEN
Can you do something to the camera to make it look normal?
MOM
What, it looks orange?
OWEN
No. No. It's the colours. It looks exaggerated.
TREVOR
Oh.
MOM
Is this yours, Graham, or mine?
GRAHAM
Ya, it's mine. Here.
MOM
Here's your tomatoes. Those are for you.
TREVOR
There. It's not orange.
MOM
I thought we were finished filming for the day.
GRAHAM
Where's Trevor sitting?
DAD
Over there I guess.
MOM
Graham, could I get you to swing your chair around there, dear?
GRAHAM
Sure.
HEATHER
My mouth hurts.
MOM
Owen, I have to get up because I cannot sit to put my glasses on.
OWEN
Ya, okay.
HEATHER
These are good.
GRAHAM
You should really start story boarding what you actually want out of it. You'll waste a lot less tape.
OWEN
Well, it's not like I'm going to use all of it. It's not like there's a narrative from beginning to end. People just sort of walk in, look at it, and then walk away when they want.
TREVOR
You should do it about how you're a facist when it comes to dinner time. Oh, no, you can't sit here.
MOM
Are you going to film my whole dinner? Or just parts.
OWEN
Don't worry. I'm not going to use the whole thing. I'm just going to use 10-second segments and edit it down.
MOM
Well, my goal was to have dinner before nine o'clock tonight. Does anyone want any butter for their potatoes? Want a little? How long did you guys boil those for?
DAD
A long time.
MOM
Pass the salt and pepper.
GRAHAM
This could be turned into a sociology project experiment where... You'd have to have the control group, which might be us, and then you compare every other family to us.
MOM
You're not filming me, I hope. Well I feel like a wreck. I just...
OWEN
Don't worry. You can only see from here up.
MOM
How come you can't film Graham eating dinner?
GRAHAM
He already got me. It's okay, Mom, I was eating a fajita when I was being filmed in my apartment. I had it all drooling down my hand.
MOM
I don't usually have a beer bottle on the table at dinner time either.
GRAHAM
You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.
TREVOR
Did something happen to it?
OWEN
What?
MOM
No, I was going to ask you for it.
HEATHER
You can have this one, Mom. I didn't do anything.
DAD
You're not getting tummy scratches. No.
HEATHER
Are you a good, girl? Is Copper a good boy? Why don't you just film Sally eating? You didn't even know.
MOM
Make some faces now.
HEATHER
I can't. My mouth hurts too much.
MOM
There's these two corns in the microwave if anybody wants them with their supper, leftover corn.
TREVOR
Leftover what?
GRAHAM
Corn.
TREVOR
Corn? Leftover corn?
MOM
I just decided.
TREVOR
Is there an "S" word?
MOM
There's only one thing worse. We've got a pair here.
TREVOR
You need to chill out. You need to really just chill out.
[camera: slowly zooms out]
TREVOR
I'm done.
GRAHAM
Okay, I'm done eating so. Well, if you're filming someone eating, I'm done.
HEATHER
You can take the camera off me any time.
GRAHAM
Ya, Owen, take it off, seriously. You have enough.
MOM
It's all the same footage now.
[closing credits]
Quality Time with the Family
Owen Eric Wood 2007
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